While the mind can blind us to the pain of betrayal, the body remembers. Physical symptoms: in his book The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk expounds upon how trauma can have significant physiological impacts on the brain and body.Alexithymia: being unable or finding it very difficult to recognize your own emotions and/or describe them.That nagging sense that something is off in the relationship, that something isn’t quite right, can be a clue. A person can suffer from betrayal trauma and not yet be aware of the betrayal. Interpersonal: when a trusted friend, peer, or individual betrays your trustīetrayal trauma alters the mind and body.a victim or “whistleblower.” This may include an educational institution, the military, healthcare systems, etc. This can also occur when the institution protects a perpetrator vs. Institutional: when an institution impacts you in a way that is in direct opposition to how they portray themselves or stated in their mottos and goals.If one of the partners has an active sexual addiction, there is often betrayal present. This can take place when your partner is having an emotional or physical affair. Intimate partner: when the person doing the betraying is your intimate partner.Parental: when a parent or caretaker, someone you depend on for your needs to be met, abuses you or fails to protect you from harm.
There are many types of betrayal trauma, including parental, intimate partner, institutional, and interpersonal.
Or why someone stays in an abusive relationship or a narcissistic relationship and makes excuses for their partner. This explains why a child can have what appears to be a good, healthy relationship with a trusted caregiver who secretly abuses them. This is called betrayal blindness-it’s how we can not know what is right in front of our faces. In order to cope, a survivor blocks out painful information so their brain can focus on more basic needs of survival and attachment. 2 Third party observers are often left wondering, “How can they not see what is happening? ” 1 This theory predicts that the more necessary a person or institution is deemed to be in a person’s life, the more likely there will be an “unawareness” or “blindness” to that betrayal. Understand Betrayal Trauma Theoryīetrayal trauma theory seeks to understand how an individual will interpret betrayal and store it in their memory. If your car gets rear-ended in traffic, your level of trauma may not be as profound as if you were to find out that your spouse of 20 years has been carrying on an affair with your best friend. 1 The amount of trauma caused has to do with the impact. Betrayal trauma occurs when a person or an organization that you depend on goes outside your expectation of them in a way that hurts you.
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